I'm sorry, my mr porty. ;(

I would like to appologise. Not to anyone but ONLY to this guy. Okay, this is so kentals. Can i cry now, regret later or regret now, cry later? Hahs! But no matter what, i've to do it. It's a silly thing when you don't even know how long you've been friends with someone. Yes, aku bodoh! We have been friends for like 1 or 2 years? 3, maybe? I don't know. I knew that we know each other for a very long time. I bet you that you comfirm tau my perangai. Okay, I know i shouldn't compare you with someone else but honestly, out of my male friends, you're the long last male friends i ever had. The rest? VANISHED!

Here comes the part that you should read. I'm sorry for the yesterday conversation. I started realised when i talk to my brother about this. My brother has nothing got to do with this. I just share random things with him. I ask him this, "what do you think when a girl that you knew for a very long time, claims that she don't even know you and calls you a weirdo??" I don't wanna tell you what he's reply. It gives a great impact on a person's feeling. I agree with it and i'm sure that it gives a great impact on him about everything. Most prolly, i'm being too sensitive about my surroundings. Once again, i'm sorry.

How can a friend cheats or tell lies to another friend? OMG!! I really have to smack my face. Come one, slap me! Yikes! Yes, i cheat his feeling. Yes, i lied. Not once, not twice but for so many times. Oh my toot! I wonder how you endure with it. Seriously. With my stupid attitude macam gini, i wonder how you tahan ngan perangai i. Nevermind. Do i really consider as a bad girl in your eyes (now) ? By right you should know. (Readers) I don't want to hurt his feelings. I don't want to lose a friend like him. That's why i'm here, blogging, about him. Our friendship means alot to me. What am i suppose to do??

I really hate myself! How can i say this things to him. Oh my god. I'm being so .... urgh!! I'm sorry. This is from my own mouth. I'm being selfish! I'm not being who am i right now. For all this while, i never ask him about his life, how he's doing and so on. He always keep on asking me about my life, how's everything and so on. He even cares about me. I still remember the day i fall sick. He even call me a manje girl. (???) Yes lah, i'm manje to you alot. You know, i know lah k. Look at me! I don't even care a single bit about him. Am i being too selfish? Yes, i am. He's a very good listener. He listen to me when i'm having a rough time in my life. We share, i mean, i share with him alot about my life but not his. I wondering..

We even compete! We wanna compete about our o level result. Hahaha! We even tried to play tic-tac-toe pat msn before. But too bad, lappy didn't support that "program". He's cute at a certain part. Yeah, now that everyone is busy.. there's nothing left for me to say. I was really hoping that he didn't really take it to the heart. I don't mean it. I really don't mean it. I'm really sorry about EVERYTHING from the start till the end. Will you forgive? You'll still be my friend kan?? I'm wondering biler we'll have that chat again. you know, i know lah. Happy friendship day! (???) :'(


p/s: i miss the way you with flirt me, dear.